Foreign Language

Ah, the incredible languages of the world, each a reflection of the unique culture of the people who practice and form it anew every day. Pura vida. Mahalo. Je ne sais quoi. Namaste. Wingardium leviosa. Oh wait, sorry, that last one was just me speaking nerd…I’m pretty fluent in that one!

When studying any language (the language of love? of desire?), classroom courses are helpful. But it can never be truly mastered until you immerse yourself in the environment that language is spoken. With me as your travel partner, you won’t be faced with another cold empty hotel room on your next business trip, or another table for one on that vacation you’ve been planning. Wherever your heart desires, let’s practice conjugating together (verbs, that is). Pack me in your suitcase, and let me be your passport to adventure! Maybe we’ll even create our own new language in the process.

Exchange Rates:

Two-day tryst = $10,000

Three-day rendezvous = $12,000

Four-day affair to remember = $14,000

One-week romance in paradise = $18,000

Cultural Expectations:

Please know that I need eight hours of uninterrupted sleep each night in order to be a happy, healthy human.

For every full day spent together, please allow me a couple of hours of time to myself to recharge and come back to you refreshed.

For flights of four hours or less, I can fly in whatever cabin you would book for yourself — either first, business, or economy class. For flights over four hours long, business or first-class tickets are required. I will book my own flights after we coordinate logistics.

If we are traveling to our destination together, the travel time is included in my rates as specified above. If you would like me to fly to you, anywhere in the country or the world, then my regular rates will begin once I arrive to you. There will be a $50/hour charge for my travel time to reach you, and to return home.

For any travel (or a longer stay-cation), a pre-trip deposit will be required, which consists of all travel costs, and 50% of my rate for the time we will spend together.